Writing your own wedding vows is a wonderful way to gear your words specifically to your relationship and have a chance to express what you mean to one another. It can sometimes feel like an overwhelming task but you don’t have to be a poet to write meaningful vows. Just speak from the heart and they’ll be perfect because they’re coming from you! But if you’re unsure where to begin, here are some tips and prompts to help get you started.
Why do you love them?
A great place to start is thinking of the many reasons why you love and want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Sometimes it’s hard to put into words or to label specific reasons. You just know. Start by answering some of these questions and see what comes to mind. What do you miss about them when they aren’t around? What physical feelings do you get when you see them? What are some things they do for you that make you feel loved? What personality or character traits do they have that you value in a partner? How do they comfort you when you need support? How do you behave differently around them than anyone else?
What is love to you?
How do you know you love someone with
out first identifying what love is? By thinking about what love looks like to you, you can start to label why this person falls into that description. Is love a certain feeling? Action? Character trait? Way of communicating? Can you describe love based on something in nature, books, movies, or history? Is there a relationship in your life like important relatives or people you look up to that exemplifies what love is? What things do they do that show they are in love?
We love Daniel’s description of what love is to him:
Share a Story
Think of a favourite memory with your fiancé and share that story. Reflect on the reasons why that memory is a favourite and how it is a perfect example of why you love your partner so much. This could be the time you first met, your first date, the moment you knew you wanted to marry them, or just something hilarious that happened while you were together.
Find a Quote
Sometimes putting feelings into words is really challenging. You know how you feel but it’s hard to articulate that or put it into the right words. Research some different quotes, song lyrics, and lines from movies, books and poems to see what resonates with you. Sometimes someone else can perfectly describe exactly what you’re feeling. You could even reflect on certain parts and why they made you think of your fiancé.
Vision for the Future
Let your partner know how you’re looking forward to building your future together. How do you see the rest of your life together? What exciting things do you have to look forward to? What will your first home look like? Is there anywhere you’d like to travel together? How do you picture a typical Sunday afternoon together when you’ve been married for 30 years?
The Vows
Right, the whole point of the thing! What are you promising to each other? What are some things that you see as essential in a relationship? What tangible things are you going to do to achieve that? How will you continue to support them throughout their life? It’s okay not to promise perfection. Create meaningful and achievable vows that you know you will keep. Partnerships take work and it’s okay to acknowledge that. What are some commitments you can make for when times are challenging?
Address the Audience
You have all of your friends and family there to show their support for your relationship. It’s likely some people out there have helped your relationship along the way. Maybe someone even introduced the two of you. It’s nice to take a moment to thank them for how they’ve contributed to this day and will continue to in the future.
Specificity
One of the wonderful things about writing your own vows is it makes them unique to you. These are your vows about your relationship. It makes them even more special because they don’t apply to anyone else but the two of you. So what are some things unique to your relationship that you can sprinkle throughout your wedding vows? Is there something everyone associates with the two of you? A restaurant, song, food or drink that they see and automatically think of you. What’s one very random specific thing that your partner does that you love? Do you have pets, plants, or a shared goal that you’ll promise to look after? A hobby that you’ll continue doing for the rest of your lives together?
Hopefully, these were some helpful prompts to get you started. But keep in mind, there are no wrong answers! What’s important to one couple may not be to another. That’s the beauty of writing your own vows. These are your thoughts and feelings about love and your relationship so make them your own!
If you want some inspiration, just watch the films we've included in this article. We think you'll agree there's plenty of love out there! When you're ready, we'd love to capture your love!
Need a wedding videographer to capture your personally written wedding vows? Contact DMS today!